Actually, a terrapin. Undertook a massive relocation effort to save this little guy from a subdivision of cars, lawn mowers, and dogs. He seemed to like his new country digs.

So, there was this turtle, going the wrong way on a busy street. Naturally, having swerved to miss him, I pulled off the road, ran through traffic, and rescued him.

I put him in the floorboard of the car and drove home. We have a small pond, so he was quite happy to get out of the car and into …